I’ll admit when my friend April Riggs invited me to a free screening of Red Riding Hood, my first thought was back to the trailer. A trailer that was dark looking with pouty men and simpering women and Gary Oldham. When I first saw the trailer my thought was, “Oh my god… Little Red Twilight!” So I wasn’t excited. In fact, I was only looking forward to hanging out with my friend. Little did I know we were both going for the same reason. It’s too bad we didn’t get to sit together and I ended up sitting next to a woman with a tray of food on her lap. Yes, I said it. She had a TRAY OF FOOD at the movie theater, including a gigantor-size blue slushie. When they started handing out free prizes, she felt the need to scream “Pick me, please! Oh, you gotta pick me!” And she gave me a dirty look when I laughed when Gary Oldman screamed about “There is power mightier than God!” I think she might have enjoyed the movie. Which is scarier than the movie itself.
I only have 5 things to say about this movie:
#1 – Don’t go see this movie.
#2 – Nobody acts well in this movie. NOBODY! I have always loved Gary Oldman and yet he too was terrible.
#3 – The writing may be part of the reason the acting is so bad.
#4 – “Grandma what big eyes you have!” is uttered in a non-comedic manner.
#5 – There are no hints as to who the wolf could be, so you can’t even try to play “spend all my time trying to solve the mystery since the movie is so bad I can’t focus on it without laughing.
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